To say I’m dreaming again would not be an apt description.
However, I am writing – which is a big improvement from where I was.
I give a lot of credit to the Institute of American Indian Arts (IAIA), though they would hardly know it, as they didn’t outright have anything to do with it. It took me stumbling upon their MFA program in Creative Writing to actually gently nudge me into a less mentally comatose writing state. I say that because the writer in me has felt all but dead inside since Blake was taken from us way too early.
And so I tripped and, for the first time in a long while, my curiosity was piqued.
I’ve always been interested in MFA (Masters in Fine Arts) writing programs but didn’t pursue any for a variety of reasons that I simply don’t care to list. But, when I came across this particular program, it was refreshing for a variety of reasons. Namely, it emphasizes the cultural experiences of Native Americans.
Being Native American myself, one might ignorantly assume I’ve always been interested in the subject. Which I haven’t, at least, not beyond a commendable front. In fact, I’m rather glad this program was created a year after I graduated from college. As, that means that it wasn’t on my radar and I didn’t have the opportunity to butcher my chances with a self-righteous application.
But I digress.
I decided to apply to the program this year. And, upon making that decision, I pulled upon my writing muscle that hadn’t been strained in some time. It was an expected slow start but I was pleasantly pleased that I found myself writing in a soulful way that felt not just right but comfortable. That’s not to say it was easy or without emotional and mental strain – as I chose to write about my twin’s funeral – but, for once, my writing felt fluid and at ease in a way that left me feeling like I didn’t need any outside accolades to tell me I’d done it and I’d done it right.
I guess all of my professors were right. Sometimes you have to break away from the world of higher education and experience the strain of living a life uncharted before finding your writer voice. That’s not to say that everyone should do this or even that I wasn’t a writer before – I’m just stating that there’s merit to the idea.
And, even though for personal reasons I am no longer able to apply to IAIA’s graduate program this year, I’m thankful that I took something from the experience.
And that’s enough for me.
*Before you ask, the title pun was intended.