This day, one year ago, I was hurled into the world of adulthood at lightning speed. To be fair, I had been as prepared as any child really could be but still… it’s not the same. Luckier than most, I worked my ass off to get a professional job straight out of college and I did. But it wasn’t long before I realized Library Science was not for me.
So now what?
Well, I went back (I never really quit) to applying to open positions for my dream job – an editor.
To say it was extremely difficult to get even a nibble of interest would be an understatement and I actually had a lot going for me. Not only was I a double major in college but I also had a handful of internships in the publishing field by the time I graduated. But alas, it was months, months before anything popped up on my radar but when it did…
It was full speed ahead with no stopping.
In a matter of two weeks I had undergone 5 interviews and an editing test daunting enough to put the fiercest editors at bay (or so I tell myself), but I did it and to my complete and utter disbelief I was offered the job of my dreams. I became an Associate Editor- whoot, whoot! (Insert inner squealing! And a lot of outer squealing too!)
But back to what this post is actually about…
When I accepted this new job, I was effectively shutting the door on the life I had known for so long. I was leaving the state, saying goodbye to my loved ones, and getting enough pulls on my credit to make it look bad. I had one day to look at apartments and two days to move in before my first day of work. It was a crazy, whirlwind of moving madness and I was scared out of my mind.
I discovered that it’s one thing to talk about saying goodbye to family, even going so far as to live out of state when you go to college, but it’s a completely, altogether different scenario when you’re essentially saying toodles for life. Suddenly the reality of living on my own for the rest of my life caught up with me and the everyday responsibilities overshadowed my initial excitement and made getting a new job a much scarier fact to face.
So what’s this year been about? Simple. It’s been about my personal growth.
A year ago, I was an adult child working professionally and proving to the world that I could make it out of college. But now? Now I’m an adult woman creating a name for myself without anyone’s guidance and proving to the world that I can do it on my own. Sure, I’m still deeply terrified of messing up but if one year has given me anything, it’s the confidence and courage and excitement and independence and so many other wonderful things that pile up when you start truly experiencing life and have no other choice but to accept your own fear and move on. And although I’ve been sorely neglectful of my writing, I can’t help but feel a new stirring of possibilities in the air around me.
I think that sometimes writers get so carried away with writing that they forget to live. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe not. But I can’t help but think of all the writing advice I’ve ever received about “letting your story grow” or “giving your story some time to properly stew” – all great advice, but what about your own story? How can any writer create such wonderful masterpieces if they don’t grow themselves?
So that’s what I did this year. I let my own personal story grow. And now that I’ve been refreshed…
It’s time to write!