Bad Idea

So, I haven’t even really started yet and I’m already positive I’m going to fail the whole NaNoWriMo thing.

I’m not making excuses for myself but I totally am. Before I jumped on the whole NaNoWriMo bandwagon, I had a three-to-six month goal started on how I was going to write a novel. But my overly excitable disposition threw that out the window once I realized NaNoWriMo time was right around the corner. But the thing is, I was already a month into my own made up writing program.

So on Novemeber 1st I threw out my program and started the new one – BAD IDEA. A bad idea for so many reasons.

The whole reason I started my own program was to set my own pace to meet regular standards that would be a challenge but also achievable given my current lot in life. Recently I’ve moved to a completely new environment and taken on a truck load of new responsibilities. To say my life has drastically changed from six months ago would be putting it mildly. And although I love these changes, they still continue to cause a stir in my everyday routine as I try to adjust and get acclimated to the new environment around me. Therefore, it was extremely important for me to factor these changes in – which my NaNoWriMo gung-ho attitude did not.

Furthermore, my writing skills have evolved. So now it takes more effort to write more words. That means my personal writing expectations need to be reasonable. Once upon a time I wrote an entire novel length FanFiction in three months, writing 3,000 words almost consistently every day. But that’s hardly reasonable for me now considering I’m writing the basis for a novel world that’s completely my own. Likewise, both my vocabulary and other writing skills have improved enough that I’m not okay with the inconsistencies and lack of detail that so often occurred with my seat-of-your-pants attitude towards writing FanFiction. Therefore, my essential makeup as a writer has changed, which causes me to write slower since I’m now more conscientious.

Another huge reason is because I am essentially a big baby. With my program, I was weaning myself back into writing. Going from having written almost no fiction for close to six months to wanting to write an entire novel is/was not an easy jump to make. Plus, I didn’t want to pressure myself so much that I’d give up right from the get go. With NaNoWriMo this was completely discarded. I stopped wanting to write my novel the way it should be written and started wanting to write to meet my daily word count AND IT’S ONLY BEEN THREE DAYS!

I could probably go on but I don’t feel like it. These are essentially my main points anyways. Don’t get me wrong, I still really believe in the whole NaNoWriMo idea for those that it will work for. Once upon a time, it would have been prefect for me but not anymore. My mindset is totally different now. I’m focused more on the long term finished content more than the length of the novel. And, working in the publishing industry, I’ve come too really like the whole idea of pumping out quality work the first time around so my edits won’t have me having to essentially rewrite the entire novel.

Having said that, I’m gladly shuffling my feet mighty quickly back to my original program. It feels good to be in some semblance of control again and now I don’t feel such latent pressure to finish my story. I mean, I do but in a completely different way. I’ve set goals that will still be challenging but not overwhelmingly so. Trust me, writing a novel is overwhelming enough on its own, if I can narrow it down a bit, I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing.

So good luck to all you NaNoWriMo writers out there. It was good while it lasted but a NaNoWriMo winner I shall not be.

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